TDOR

Today is Trans Day of Remembrance. It’s a day we remember all the transpeople who have died in the past year simply for existing. We hold vigils. We make grand speeches about how we’re going to fight it. And then we get on with life. Nothing changed, nothing learned.

And it’s hard. It’s hard for me to really be into TDOR. But I also want to honor the lives of those who’ve died just to live right for a moment. Too often I see it as the only time trans is talked about. How sad is that? The only time we can be talked about/to is when cisfolks are telling us how sad that we die and how brave we are. But they miss the amazingness that can be trans. At least, for me. I would never want to be anything else. I want to celebrate my trans-ness. I want to do both at once. I want to mourn the dead, love the living and really try to change what is happening.

Medical Transition

It’s a very sad thing for me to listen to transfolks talking about transitioning sometimes. I mean, cisfolk do this probably as much if not more so, but it actually makes me sad to hear transfolks saying it. There is this assumption that transitioning is a process with certain checkpoints.

Weekly Links – 10

This has been a good week for bloggers, it seems! Lots of good posts…

Operation:Cispity Fest at Dalice Malice

Apparently there is some facebook thing going around where cisfolk change their gender status for a week to symbolize the struggles of being trans. Could they do much of a better job of being offensive? I mean, really! Oy! Dalice lays it out quite nicely…

Does coincidence somehow make it any better? at Airbeans

A couple personal stories of gender/homophobic attacks. It’s very sad that these things happen…

Outting

It’s been an issue on my mind somes lately. What’s it mean for me? For others, especially those around me? I have friends who never want to be read as trans. Then there’s me, who always wants to be. But do I? Mostly, ya, but keeping in mind that it’s not always a good idea to do so. Safety is an issue, for sureidly, every now n again. And being out is soooo exhausting. Imagine having to explain your existence to everyone you ever talk to. Or just your friends. Or just your loved ones. Believe me, it gets old fast. Imagine the ridiculous questions you get asked and the assumptions made. “So.. what are you, then?” “Ok.. so you’re not a man or a woman. You don’t have gender..?” (after explaining that I’m genderqueer. What about genderqueer means no gender??) “So… thenwho do you date??” (as though that has anything to do with anything, and is any of your business??) And so on and so forth.

And then I blog. And it feels like outting myself with each post.

November 9th

Today is the anniversary of Kristallnacht, a particularly nasty pogrom in Nazi Germany. It happened 71 years ago now. 400 were murdered. Thousands of homes, synagogues and businesses were destroyed. Tens of thousands were carted off to concentration camps. All in a two-day period. My grandparents left Germany by this time but I can’t imagine what it would be like to think about all the friends and family who hadn’t left yet. Having to watch from the sidelines. Knowing you are safe (for now) but that your loved ones are lost forever.

Reportback from Jewcus

So, this actually happened back in May but I’m going to repost it here because it is as relevant now as it was then.  I went to a convergence and put together a Jew caucus. We got around 5 people together and discussed issues around lunch. Here is a list of common issues we have hit within the radical and activist community. However, these issues are also prevalent throughout our lovely society.

Late Weekly Links – 9

I have a good excuse! I got a tattoo on Friday and it took all my time! I’ll post pictures soon, hopefully, and then I’ll write something about it. It’s amazing. I have genderdemons on my leg!

Anyhow, I have some yummy links this week so am rather excited for it.

Coming out to my partner… at Stubburn Dogs

Coming out is a really big deal. This is quite a happy story! I love reading those..

A Simple Introduction. at Transcend Gender

It’s always nice finding a new blogger out there! Another perspective on this whole transgender beast. I’m really enjoying what I’ve read so far. Ugh, and posting something by Andrea Gibson? INSTANT WIN!

Real men, real haircuts at AirBeans

A fun story about fucking with homo-/trans-/genderphobic fucks. Who doesn’t love doin that??

Everything You Know About Lesbianism Is Wrong at Dear Diaspora

If you hadn’t noticed yet, DD is one of my favorite bloggers. Posts like these are why. In this one, she pulls in the constant scapegoating of transgendered folks by both cisfolk AND transsexuals SIMULTANEOUSLY for OPPOSITE reasons. The irony is so painful and so true. And that last line? Ya, killed me. Powerful shit, y’all.

New Zealand’s Official Celebration of Terrorism: 5 November at The Dunedin School

It was Guy Fawkes Day this week and here’s one of the (many, many) posts commemorating it. I didn’t get to watch V for Vendetta but maybe today is the day for such things… I do kinda dig that movie.

Too Sexy for Your Marriage Referendum at This is what a Man Looks Like

I wrote a little post about the ban on gay marriage that happened in Maine last week but this one is much more in depth. I love his posts and this is no different.

GMB AKASH Photographer

Here’s a gallery of the Gulabi Gang of India. For those that don’t know this group, it’s one of my favorites.

the coolest compliment

So last night I hung out at a queer event. Most of my queer friends were there so it was quite happy-making. At one point, RJ, J (the guy who showed me the bathrooms) and I were chatting about first impressions. RJ said how ze had thought I was a transguy who just started T when ze first met me. I get that one a lot because of the beard. J told me he wasn’t sure how to read me when he first met me. He said I was definitely not feminine but not masculine either. Just kinda queer. It was the coolest thing someone has said to me in a long time. I am ok being read as masculine but to be read as queer? A rare and special happening.

I’ve thought of a really cool way to explain how I relate to masculinity and femininity. Femininity doesn’t fit at all. it’s like a very tight sweater made out of itchy wool with no arm holes. It holds me down and is quite torturous. Not that I ever really wore it any how. But it’s not right for me. Masculinity is like an oversized coat. Ya.. It works. But it’s silly. It has a lot of shit that just doesn’t fit.

Isn’t that a fun way to think about it? I think so.

Gay Marriage Banned in Maine

So, I posted a link to this blog, which beautifully illustrates why I am against focusing on marriage. Marriage privileges certain family structures over others. However, it’s a horrible thing what has happened in Maine. Now hets are, once again, privileged above us even more-so. To have rights taken away from a group of people is so wrong on so many levels. I could not imagine being a queer in Maine right now. Every person I passed on the street, I would wonder, “Did you take my rights away? Do you hate me? Do you see me as a second-class citizen?” No public space could feel safe to me.. As much as I always feel society’s foot to my face, this would be 10 times worse. I feel for all the queers in Maine..

 

***edit***

This is my 100th blogpost! HOLY SHIT

I found a huge cache of bathrooms!

Not just any bathrooms. Genderless ones on campus! It all happened because I went to a trans discussion panel last night. I was ueberly worried that it was going to be horrible. The only person advertised to be on the panel was a therapist who had treated a lot of “gender identity patients,” whatever the fuck that even means. But it was actually a pretty good panel. There were 2 MTFs, an FTM and a person who just identifies as “trans.” I had some problems with some things but there was also stuff I liked. Many of the questions and answers seemed to push a medical position. They quite often acted like transgender = transsex and that surgery is the “final step” in the process to transition (and then assimilate back into cis culture). Which, of course, is off. Works for some, not for many. There was also an uncomfortable moment where this person asked what the difference between intersexed and transsexed is and that led to a good 5-10 minute discussion on intersexed, which was highly problematic. Firstly, the people talking didn’t know what they were talking about. Secondly, intersexed is not transsexed. That’s like asking me about… I don’t know… SRS or something. HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT?? Also, there were 5 instances of mispronouning, at least one of which came from the therapist on the discussion panel. Such things make me very uncomfortable and I don’t feel I should have had to hear that. And it should have been called out. Anyhow, I also really liked that they did include someone who wasn’t working on the standard one-to-the-other transsexual line of thought. They also were fairly open to being jumping in, which I did a couple times (with much restraint). And there were a lot of transfolks at the meeting.

Anyhow, so after the meeting this dude and I hung out. We’d ran into each other once before but didn’t really talk. It was cool though. He showed me all these gender neutral bathrooms I hadn’t known about before! It turns out one of the dorms has 2 integrated floors gender-wise. The way they deal with that is by having all single bathrooms with no signage. WOOT! It’s only a block or two from where I am normally on campus so not really that bad, if I’m really in the mood to not piss in a woman’s bathroom. I hate using women’s bathrooms so this is an awesome find for me.